The Coffee Ministry

The Coffee Ministry photo by Heather

Have you ever considered your spouse as being your first ministry?

I know I really didn't think of my husband that way when we got married. In fact, it was several years down the road before I thought of him that way.

I looked at my role, as a wife, with a to do list a "wife" was supposed handle each day. 

I thought my husband's role was basically to provide, cut the grass, and maybe take out the trash every now and then.

I thought I was supposed to be the one that did the most for our kids. 

Fortunately, my husband has helped out a lot over the years with he kids.

I guess I was thinking family is something you grow up and just do. 

I thought ministry was something you did only at church.

We got really involved in church. We were at church every time the doors were open.

Over the years we served in many ministries of the church. We worked with youth, worked in the nursery, taught children's church, took kids on trips, cleaned, painted, taught Sunday school, ran the sound, and much much more.

I am not telling you this for a pat on the back. We did a lot over a 20 year period. This definitely seems like we were ministering in every area we could.

We were working together most of the time at church. We both seemed to have lots of joy, and I believe we did, as long as we were doing it with the right heart.

However, we were not ministering to each other.

Somewhere along the way we got in a deep rut.

Deep Rut photo by J.Daniel

Deep ruts are really hard to get out of. Some times you need someone to pull you out.

Sometimes you need help getting out of a rut in life. Photo by J. Daniel

I believe we got in that rut because we didn't see each other as our first ministry.

We were constantly pouring ourselves out for others, and never refreshing each other.

I really don't remember what we read one day, but we both got convicted.

Then, we got busy looking for ways to minister to each other.

That is not always easy because our schedules can be totally different at times.

He leaves each morning to go to work several hours before I wake up. Sometimes midnight or 2:00 am. 

I have always prepared his lunch for work to make it easier on him in the mornings. So, he wanted to do something for me.

This is how "The Coffee Ministry" was born in our relationship.

My husband started it. 

He made sure we had a coffee maker with a timer. 

Every morning I wake up to fresh brewed coffee. Not only does he set it up to start, but he places my coffee mug right beside the coffee maker. 

Occasionally, he will write a sweet note and leave it for me right on the coffee maker, so I won't miss it.

I didn't realize how much this actually ministers to me, until one day, he over slept. He had to rush to get ready and out the door for work.

He had forgotten to set the coffee maker to brew coffee and he didn't set out my cup. 

He didn't do this on purpose, but that was the very moment I realized how much it meant to me. 

Up until that very second, I had not really put much thought into it. Not until my mug wasn't there and the coffee maker was empty. That morning, I missed seeing my mug sitting on the counter. 

It isn't just coffee and a mug. It is love in action. It is my husband ministering to me. It is an act to refresh my very soul.

This isn't the only way he ministers to me, but this is one example in our relationship that really speaks to my heart. And I really love "The Coffee Ministry" in our marriage.

In return, I also have the coffee maker ready for him, but I really didn't want to seem as though I was just copying him. So, I also minister to him in other ways as well.

I would love to hear how you and your spouse minister to one another, so please feel free to comment.